Kobe Bryant 给 17 岁自己的信：正确地照料亲人好友，免去不必要的眼泪与苦困

黑曼巴 Kobe Bryant 宣布退役后，最后一场球赛对上 Utah Jazz 夺下 60 分结束 NBA 生涯，再起步巡回世界各地，带给球迷最后的珍贵回忆。无论您是否 Kobe Bryant 的球迷，相信亦会深深感受到他对世界带来的改变，在退役后，他是全球运动界的典范，影响著青年球迷的梦，给予过一代成年人的回忆；出道时，Kobe Bryant 了解到成为 NBA 球员，要考虑到的不止自己一人。最近，Kobe Bryant 在 The Players Tribune 网站上，公开一封对自己 17 岁时的信，讲述过去应该要用心照顾身边人，并非单单把金钱、物质分享给亲友。

信中提及让其兄弟姐妹（Siblings）直接过上富裕的物质生活，以为自己并没有过错，反而却令他们的人生止步，其实正带出他与亲姐妹 Sharia 及 Shaya。早前 Kobe 在 ESPN 一篇访问当中提到，决定中断其对亲姐妹的经济支援，「他们是一对非常聪明、受教育的女性，他们现在应该明白可以自给自足，而不是依赖著我。」，忍痛与姐妹作出抉择，无疑令黑曼巴怪罪于自己。对于家庭，他以这样的一句作总结，「我们的关系糟透了。」已经 3 年没有跟父母对话的 Kobe，自从 2013 年父母隐瞒 Kobe，偷偷把他的旧球衣、冠军指环作拍卖，而引发 Kobe 需要对亲生父母对薄公堂，令他心痛不已。

以下是 The Players Tribune 的原文，基于以上 Kobe 的家庭关系，可见他相当后悔当初没有好好管理其财产，亦后悔只给予家人好友物质，而非关怀及爱护，最后导致相互间的愤怒、怨恨以及嫉妒。黑曼巴信中的对像，也许亦是对不少职业球员分享其故事，希望在努力于球场上争取表现、挑战自己的同时，不要忘却家人的关系。

Dear 17-year-old self,

When your Laker dream comes true tomorrow, you need to figure out a way to invest in the future of your family and friends. This sounds simple, and you may think it’s a no-brainer, but take some time to think on it further.

I said INVEST.

I did not say GIVE.

Let me explain.

Purely giving material things to your siblings and friends may appear to be the right decision. You love them, and they were always there for you growing up, so it’s only right that they should share in your success and all that comes with it. So you buy them a car, a big house, pay all of their bills. You want them to live a beautiful, comfortable life, right?

But the day will come when you realize that as much as you believed you were doing the right thing, you were actually holding them back.

You will come to understand that you were taking care of them because it made YOU feel good, it made YOU happy to see them smiling and without a care in the world — and that was extremely selfish of you. While you were feeling satisfied with yourself, you were slowly eating away at their own dreams and ambitions. You were adding material things to their lives, but subtracting the most precious gifts of all: independence and growth.

Understand that you are about to be the leader of the family, and this involves making tough choices, even if your siblings and friends do not understand them at the time.

Invest in their future, don’t just give.

Use your success, wealth and influence to put them in the best position to realize their own dreams and find their true purpose. Put them through school, set them up with job interviews and help them become leaders in their own right. Hold them to the same level of hard work and dedication that it took for you to get to where you are now, and where you will eventually go.

I’m writing you now so that you can begin this process immediately, and so that you don’t have to deal with the hurt and struggle of weaning them off of the addiction that you facilitated. That addiction only leads to anger, resentment and jealousy from everybody involved, including yourself.

As time goes on, you will see them grow independently and have their own ambitions and their own lives, and your relationship with all of them will be much better as a result.

There’s plenty more I could write to you, but at 17, I know you don’t have the attention span to sit through 2,000 words.

The next time I write to you, I may touch on the challenges of mixing blood with business. The most important advice I can give to you is to make sure your parents remain PARENTS and not managers.

Before you sign that first contract, figure out the right budget for your parents — one that will allow them to live beautifully while also growing your business and setting people up for long-term success. That way, your children’s kids and their kids will be able to invest in their own futures when the time comes.

Your life is about to change, and things are about to come at you very fast. But just let this sink in a bit when you lay down at night after another nine-hour training day.

Trust me, setting things up right from the beginning will avoid a ton of tears and heartache, some of which remains to this day.

Much love,

Kobe